Kaitlyn Mokund

Danielle Parris

When did you become aware of your mixed-race heritage?

 

My parents never hid it from me. It was always something that they taught us to be proud of, so it was never really a big issue. I do remember much later on, my early 20s, seeing a mixed kid with a white mom and thinking “oh wow, that looks different,” then realizing that’s my life. Then, I was like “wow, this is what people see with my family. It looks different.” I didn’t realize until then that I didn’t look the same as my mom. It had never really occurred to me. It made me happy, because it brought back to mind all the positive things my parents had said about mixed race –how we have a really good perspective because we can relate to both our Black and White side. It made me even more proud to be mixed.

 

Danielle Paris conducted her thesis for graduate school on a biracial and monoracial comparison: “Biracial self-esteem, identity, psychological distress, public and private regard: a biracial and monoracial comparison”

 

I think a lot of people feel that because Black is a minority they need to explore that part of themselves more than their white side. [They feel] the Black side deserves more of their identity; they need to be more involved in Black culture and keep it alive. I feel like a lot of the time people forget that they’re mixed. Even their white heritage is something they should be proud of as well, not just their Black heritage. I feel a lot of mixed people feel more proud of their Black heritage than their white heritage.

 

I feel equal about both. I do sometimes feel that I need to represent the Black side more and be more involved in Black Lives Matter. I think that also could be that I’m married to a Jamaican man, so my children are ¾ Black and ¼ white. And I want to make sure they have a strong sense of identity as well with their majority race.

 

How did you react to Donald Trump’s campaign and election?

 

I didn’t think he would win. His rhetoric is so obviously racist, but a lot of people subscribe to it. I love my Black side and I feel that he is not concerned about that portion of the population whatsoever.

 

What is our (mixed race people’s) role in the conversation?

 

I don’t know. Should I be an advocate for the coloured side? Would people even listen? Would white people take into consideration my opinion because I couldn’t pass as white? So I don’t even know if white people would consider my opinion on equal level as theirs. Which side of the fence do I need to stand on? Do I try to start conversations with my white friends who are supporting Donald Trump? Or do I not go there? I don’t even know.

 

All I do know is when I do hear his rhetoric, I feel much more Black than I do white. I just notice my skin colour more, which I don’t understand because I’m equal both, so why wouldn’t I feel more white than black?

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Danielle Kwan-Lafonde 

What heritage do you most identify with?

 

I would say it just constantly changes. There are times when I feel 100% Chinese – I’m clearly very Asian in that respect. And other times when I’m so not Chinese. There was always an awareness that I look like my Dad’s side of the family. My Dad has a sister who is ¾ native and I look just like her. I always looked like that side. In Saskatchewan the only minority group are the Native people, so all of the racism I experienced as a child was all around people perceiving me as Native, it was never about being Chinese.

 

I just knew that I was different. I didn’t have a name for that, but I certainly had an awareness of it, young. We also lived in Halifax. When it was just my mom, we lived in a neighbourhood that was fairly Black. So, for a time, I knew there were white people (and I knew we weren’t that) and I knew there were Black people. And I figured, therefore, we must be Black people, because we’re obviously not white people.

 

Stories of being stereotyped and dealing with the “What are you question?”

 

Danielle has an adopted daughter named Naomi who is three years old. She is mixed 1/2 Anishinaabe (Ojibwa), with the other 1/2 mixed white, Jewish and Asian. 

 

She [Naomi] asking “what am I?” Everywhere we go, especially when it’s just me and her, everyone wants to know what we are. We get asked in the park, at dance class, in the coffee shop, grocery shopping, when we’re checking out, “What are you guys?” It’s exhausting. She hears people asking us, “What’s your background?” and she hears mommy answering that question. So, she’s registered that this is this thing that matters, but she doesn’t know why. I can’t avoid it. The language of race happens young for kids who are racialized.

 

How is Donald Trump tearing mixed people apart?

 

Mixedness is about compromise within ourselves and learning how to resolve all kinds of compromise. Identity, values, throw in religion, culture. It gets complicated. Donald Trump is the complete opposite of that – there is no compromise. That’s it, there’s just one answer, it’s a definitive statement, there’s no room for discussion. He’s the complete opposite of anything that a mixed person embodies.

 

 

Graham Jordan

In our conversation over Facebook, you talked about overcompensating for your lack of Blackness. Can you explain what you meant?

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As someone who’s more fair skinned. I feel I have to let people know that I am on [their] side, not just in politics but racially. It’s not just some white guy coming down and saying oh, let me help you. I haven’t been black enough for my black friends to accept me and the blackness or otherness that I do have inside me keeps me away from certain groups of white people.

 

I feel like a bridge between communities or that I have to be a bridge between communities, even though I enjoy one culture more than the other. I feel like I have to protect one culture more than the other and that would be my Black side.

 

When did you start to take on an identity of mixed-race?

 

I started accepting it more in my late teens. I fully haven’t accepted it.  Even though I do not look it, I identify as Black. The culture I identify with is Afro-Caribbean, and East Indian parts as well. In my late teens, I would listen to my dad and how he was treated [by my white family] and I said “No, I don’t want to be associated with people like that.” I don’t want to be identified with a group of people who discriminated against us based on our skin colour. I rebelled and pushed away from things my mom would have taught me. She’s not a bad person, but she still has those implicit biases like many white people do.

 

I knew that if I was a mixed person in Trump’s America, I would be afraid that I would be seen as a mutt. I’d feel more and more isolated. If one side pushes on you hard enough the other side usually groups you in with them. Even though I will always be more down for my coloured people, I understand these young white kids, who said “It wasn’t me. I’m not the one who wants slavery back.” No, but you’re okay with the system that is, that oppresses us. You’re okay with the fact that my people are disproportionately attacked by the police. You’re okay with having a president who [is racist].

 

How do you approach people who give into Donald Trump’s rhetoric just for their own gain?

 

Try not to give into the automatic anger you feel. But don’t sugar coat things either. You don’t have to tiptoe around what you’re saying to make them feel better. When they realize that [Trump] isn’t for them, that he’s in it for himself, they’ll turn on him. But, hopefully by then, they won’t be blinded by the facets of entitlement that he’s given them.

 

Did you feel a sense of betrayal from your friends or family who support Donald Trump?

 

I’ve had [coloured] friends who say [Donald Trump’s] good for jobs. It’s the same type of people who I was like before – when I was self-hating. They were able to come up within the system that’s in place right now. However, which way they paid their dues, however they “assimilated.” They say, “Oh just do what I did, it’ll work for you. Just sell out.” It’s not to diss them for it, but it’s what they did. They sold out. That’s not how I want the world to work.

 

It’s definitely betraying that you would put your own people in a situation where they will be discriminated against because of their colour.

 

Do you have a certain anger towards a certain part of your heritage? How do you discern all white people from the white people who have hurt your family and support Donald Trump?

 

The more stories I hear from my Dad, the more I’m mad at my white side – my mom’s side. I feel like if you don’t automatically jump out against that person that represents hatred and disavow what they say, I’m going to think you’re okay with it. I’m going to think that you’re okay with that environment and you’re just looking out for yourself and you don’t care about me, even though I care about you.

 

If you don’t stand up against those people, we’re going to lump you in with them. A silent voice is a violent voice. If you don’t stand against oppression, you’re standing with it. Unless you change, unless you’re out there fully against this, you will get lumped in with your worst part and it’s going to be on you for not standing up then and not standing up now.

 

What is your responsibility as a mixed race person in the conversation concerning Donald Trump?

 

Our responsibility in the conversation is to call things out when you see them, call things out when you hear them. Do it in a way that’s forceful, but not off-putting, which is a thin line. No one needs a safe space more than a conservative person or a Trump person. They have some of the biggest safe spaces. As far as action, join local groups that stand against those things. One group we have in Oshawa, the Oshawa anti-fascist group. Don’t just feel bad, organize yourselves. Be present at every conversation, be at the table. As much as we have to call it out and speak, listen to. Which is the hardest part – listening to what they have to say, because what they have to say is wrong. Behind that anger is pain.